One of the biggest initial challenges facing anybody who has changed their lifestyle, is to get their friends and family to see and understand what those changes mean.
Yes, I know we always used to braai a ox and have the local brewery's emergency number on speed dial, but I've changed now.
Yes, I know that chocolates always used to be my favourite prezzie ever, but I've changed now.
Yes, I know I always used to cook a huge Sunday lunch for you, but I've changed now.
You get the idea. And, of course, the bigger the change, the bigger the challenge.
And it's not just about getting them to accept the changes -it probably wouldn't be quite so difficult if it was - it's also about hurt and love. And this is where we have to tread so carefully. Bearing in mind that part of the reason we have issues - especially of the eating kind - is a reluctance to hurt other people. So instead of me expressing myself honestly to you and risk hurting you, I'd rather just swallow my feelings. And everything else I can get my hands on.
All of a sudden a lifestyle change involving a change of diet, beomes a behavioural change as well.
One which I don't know if I'm ready for just yet. It's one thing to know something intellectually, it's another to put it into practice.
So when my mother calls me up and says that she would like to take me out to dinner, it is not very difficult to say no. When she adds that she would really love to see my children and she knows that they would enjoy the evening, it becomes a little trickier. But still I bravely mumble my reasons for not being able to go. 'No, no, I don't think so...er...new lifestyle...er, only raw, yes yes that's right raw.'
My mother, being the skilled tactician that she is, saves her Ace for last. 'Your sister is in town and it's for your birthday.' I'm left with no choice.
'Yes mom. Thank you mom. See you there mom.'
So now I know that realistically speaking I will not eat raw food this evening. I say this because we are going to a sushi bar and as far as I know they don't do salads at sushi bars. I am faced with two options - and this is where I do have a choice - I can choose to beat myself up for the rest of the day or I can choose to plan my break from Raw. The beating up option involves a whole lot of negative self-dialogue along the lines of: 'Why didn't you just say no? You're so weak. How do you think you are ever going to be able to succeed?' in an ever-increasing downward spiral.
The planning option involves choosing to look forward to an evening out with my family. This way, I still feel good about myself and my day remains productive. I can ensure that I eat properly and well throughout the day so I that I am not very hungry this evening.
The most important thing about the planning option, is that I still feel good about myself. Whenever we make a radical lifestyle change we will be faced with opposition, challenges to our decision and loads of temptation to test our resolve. The important thing is to remember why we are changing our lifestyle in the first place. To feel good. About ourselves, about our bodies and about the way we are interacting with our environment. So let the pursuit of the feeling guide you. Choose the option that makes you feel good.
If you happen to be sitting in a sushi bar tonight and you hear somebody say, "Pass the sushi and hold the rice,", you'll know that I'm feeling good!
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